Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Are we emotionally Intelligent too ?


Most of us think that a person’s intelligence (IQ or Intelligence Quotient) determines how people succeeded in the life. Is this really true ?

May be yes may be no..but in the last decade another determinant of person’s success in life has surfaced, which is known as Emotional Intelligence (EQ or Emotional Quotient).

The EQ concept argues that IQ, or conventional intelligence, is too narrow; that there are wider areas of emotional intelligence that dictate and enable how successful we are. Success requires more than IQ, which has tended to be the traditional measure of intelligence, ignoring essential behavioral and character elements. We've all met people who are academically brilliant and yet are socially and inter-personally inept. And we know that despite possessing a high IQ rating, success does not automatically follow.

Hey..what is this EQ....let me try to explain a bit.....Emotional Intelligence is all about knowing yourself, managing your feelings about somebody or something, handling relationships and understanding another person’s feeling or difficulties. These attributes are important for all of us to live a happy, contended and successful life in all aspects, as very commonly it has been seen that most of us put ourselves in difficult situations making ourselves angry, tensed & unhealthy relationship because of our inability of handling the emotions.

Emotional Intelligence comprises four broad areas of ability:

1. Self Awareness: Knowing how your emotions are affecting your performance; being able to make decisions based on your feelings; knowing your strengths and weaknesses and, as a result, having high level of self-confidence.

2. Self Regulation: Managing disruptive feelings, emotions, and impulses so that you can: focus on the jobs in hand; be flexible in handling change; be open to new ideas; be ready to act on opportunities.

3. Social Awareness: Being able to put your own emotional preoccupations on hold in order to be aware of other people feelings, needs, perspectives, and concerns. This forms the basis of a number of competencies, enables you to help others to develop, and increases the ability to read undercurrents.

4. Social Skills: Being aware and friendly and thus able to persuade, build bonds and collaborate. It is the ability to carry on a conversation and deal with others emotions. It is being socially competent.

Intelligence Quotient (IQ) & Emotional Intelligence (EQ), both types of intelligence are important but in different ways, expert says that the IQ contributes about 20% to the factors that determine life accomplishments and that leave about 80% for everything else. Research shows that for jobs of all kinds, emotional intelligence is twice as important as IQ plus technical skills. Emotional intelligence is more than 85% of what sets star performers from the average in any working condition and handling of relationships. Unlike IQ, which is something you are born with and can not alter, the good news is that EQ skills can be developed if you are really interested to excel in whatever you want to achieve.

Emotional Intelligence increases when people commit themselves to building practical competencies in the context of every day situations. Nothing can be more powerful than developing empathy skills during everyday interactions on the job or your area of activity. The best method to foster high levels of EQ is one-to-one coaching or help from other people. Sometime people that you dislike intensely will be your greatest helpers. Open discussion tailors the transformation process to each person’s goals, needs and circumstances.

Let’s evaluate ourselves to know what our EQ level is and how intelligent we are emotionally; we can certainly find our ways to improve upon our shortcomings if any.

All the best…Happy Life !

Thursday, May 8, 2008

What is your why ?


A man may do the deeds of the people of Paradise, as it appears to others, but [in fact] he is among the people of Hell. "Acts are judged by their ends".

The words "as it appears to others" indicate that inwardly he was other than that, and that his bad end was because of an inward evil quality of which no one else was aware.

Or he may do bad deeds of the people of Hell, but inwardly there was a good characteristics which overtook him at the end of his life, so he had a good end.[Jaami'al-'uloom wa'l-Hikam]

Lets find out what is our why ?. Its important to have the good end.

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

What is Heart ?


The experts of Islamic teachings says....

Outward physical acts are not valid and acceptable unless they are accompanied by appropriate actions of the heart.

The heart is like the king and the physical faculties are like his troops. Hence the Prophet (PBUH) said : "In the body there is a piece of flesh:if it is sound the whole body will be sound and if it is corrupt then the whole body will be corrupt".

Lets check ours.

Monday, May 5, 2008

Are you a MAN ?



Nature of Mankind as mentioned in the BOOK from the one, who created the MAN.


Sûrah an Nisa 4.28'
... man has been created weak (in resolution).'

Sûrah Younas 10.12'
For when affliction befalls man, he cries out unto Us, whether he be lying on his side or sitting or standing, but as soon as We have freed him of his affliction, he goes on as thought he had never invoked Us to save him from the affliction that befell him! Thus do their own doings seem goodly unto those who waste their own selves.'

Sûrah Hûd 11.9,10'
And thus it is; if We let man taste some of Our grace and then take it away from him.. behold, he abandons all hope, forgetting all gratitude.' 'And thus it is; if We let him taste ease and plenty after hardship has visited him, he is sure to say, 'Gone is all affliction from me!' - for, behold, he is given to vain exultation, and glories only in himself.'

Sûrah Ibrahim 14.34'
... behold, man is indeed most persistent in wrongdoing (given up to injustice), stubbornly ingrate!'

Sûrah al Isra 17.11'
As it is, man prays for things that are bad as if he were praying for something that is good, for man is prone to be hasty (in his judgment).'

Sûrah al Isra 17.67'
...for indeed, bereft of all gratitude is man.'similar content in Sûrah 22.66; 42.48; 43.15; 100.06

Sûrah al Kahf 18.54'
...however, man is, above all else, always given to contention.'

Sûrah al Anbiya 21.37'
Man is a creature of haste...'

Sûrah an Na'îm 53.39'
And that naught shall be accounted unto man but what he is striving for.'

Sûrah al Ma'arij 70.19'
Verily, man is born with a restless disposition (impatient).'

Sûrah al 'Abasa 80.17'
Man destroys himself, how stubbornly does he deny the truth!'

Sûrah al Balad 90.4'
Verily, We have created man into pain, toil and trial.'

Sûrah at Tin 95.4'
Verily, We create man in the best conformation (mould/form).'

Sûrah al Asr 103.2'
Verily, man is bound to lose himself (at a loss).

Hello Character !

The holy Prophet has stated the foremost purpose of his being sent down in this world and the method of his call to the people in these words:

"I have been sent only for the purpose of perfecting good morals." (Al-Muta)
There are people who think that “a perfect Muslim” is simply one who is correct in the observance of the salah (ritual Prayer), the fasting, the zakah (payment of a certain portion of one’s wealth to the poor), and the Hajj (pilgrimage to Makkah). This indeed is not the case.

If the ritual observances do not help the person to be humble, virtuous and truly God-fearing, then he or she is not a real Muslim. A Muslim should be good and just in dealing with others, no matter their religion, and take special care to keep away from all the shameful and sinful things Allah (God) has forbidden.

We can summarize the teachings of Islam about the Muslim character succinctly in this form:

· Be truthful in everything, don’t lie.
· Be sincere and straightforward, don’t be hypocritical.
· Be honest, don’t be corrupt.
· Be humble, don’t be boastful.
· Be moderate, don’t be excessive.
· Be reserved, don’t be garrulous.
· Be soft-spoken, don’t be loud.
· Be refined and gentle in speech, don’t cure and use foul language.
· Be loving and solicitous to others, don’t be unmindful of them.
· Be considerate and compassionate, don’t be harsh.
· Be polite and respectful to people, don’t be insulting or disrespectful.
· Be generous and charitable, don’t be selfish and miserly.
· Be good natured and forgiving, don’t be bitter and resentful.
· Share and be content with what Allah has given you, don’t be greedy.
· Be cheerful and pleasant, don’t be irritable and morose.
· Be chaste and pure, don’t be lustful.
· Be alert and aware of the world around you, don’t be absent-minded.
· Be dignified and decent, don’t be graceless.
· Be optimistic and hopeful, don’t be cynical or pessimistic.
· Be confident and have deep faith, don’t be doubtful and wavering.
· Be spiritually oriented and not materialistic.
· Be confident of the mercy of Allah, don’t be despairing and lose heart.
· Be diligent and vigilant of your duties, don’t be negligent.
· Be thankful to Allah and constantly pray to Him, don’t be forgetful of His innumerable blessings.

MAY GOD HELP ALL OF US !